Don’t mis-qualm me, I am 100% behind #metoo and black lives matter and all of the current social justice movements. My qualm is with the notion that nothing is forgivable. Someone of prominence makes a statement that can be interpreted as misogynistic, homophobic or intolerant, and everyone is up in arms and wants to burn them at the stake!
Again, I 100% support calling out racist, sexist, homophobic and intolerant rhetoric. What I do have a problem with is refusing to accept sincere apologies and believing that people can learn from mistakes, especially if it was a comment from a long time ago. People can change, people do change!
I also think we need to discern when an apology is sincere and when it is not. The recent recordings of Tucker Carlson saying really disgusting and inappropriate comments about women is just plain wrong, but it’s also clear that he doesn’t feel sorry about it, and hasn’t apologized. So I think that it needs to be a case by case basis, I know it’s tempting to want a one-size-fits all approach and answer, but that’s not possible!
Side note, why does Tucker Carlson always look baffled?
I believe that if we can accept a sincere apology, or can tell that they’ve changed and grown from a bad decision or choice of words, then we can be more successful in calling people out.
Imagine a former white supremacist or KKK member. When they speak out against racism and their former worldview, we don’t dismiss them because of their history, we understand that they’ve changed and no longer believe in that horrible worldview. If we see genuine repentance and change, we should be able to accept that and allow them to re-integrate.
Anyway, just my qualms about forgiveness and ostracizing people.
The Qualmist 